Ugh, when one stage is over, another is sure to start! I think we are getting over the biting stage. Now we are starting the - I'll just walk behind you and push you when you least expect it or slap you when I'm mad stage. Fun times!
K is a very independent child. He could sit by himself for half an hour and play with stacking cups. B on the other hand is a lost puppy without his brother. You would think it would be cute, well it's not. B has decided he is taking the bully role. K will just be walking to go get a toy and minding his own business & B will walk up behind him and just push him. Or if B gets punished he takes it out on K. Honestly I'm at my wits end. Nothing I say or do will make him stop. I have tried time outs, ignoring him, explaining be nice, etc. The boy is stubborn...I wonder where he gets that from? He is truly becoming a devil child. Is it normal to love your child but not like them? This wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't happening all day. I think it is starting to turn K into a 'crybaby'. He used to be able to handle his own and would push back. Now, he just falls and cries. I'm not sure if it's because it is all the time or if he wants my attention after the attack.
Needless to say, I am on a mission today. I am going to see if google can help. I refuse raise a bully. Isn't he too young for this!?!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Parents of Twins & Divorce
So I know everyone is sick of hearing about Jon & Kate. Believe me, so am I. But when she was discussing separating with Jon, something she said got my attention. She said that the divorce rate for parents of multiples is triple the national average. Well, as I recall the national average is somewhere between 40-50%. Is it just me or does that not make sense?
Anyhow, this started to make me think. If I had a singleton right now, would my marriage be any better? I'm not saying my marriage is anywhere near divorce, but I'm not going to lie and say it is even close to perfect. Having twins is stressful, but having kids in general is stressful. I think having twins is definitely more stressful than having a singleton, but there are also a couple of advantages. One of the most difficult parts for me with twins was the schedules! Keeping twins on the same schedule is like trying to do one of those rubix cubes. How do you try to keep the same schedule for two different babies? Some babies require more sleep, some require eating more often, some start sleeping through the night sooner. I could go on & on but I think you get my point. What a lot of parent of singletons don't realize (mostly my mother-in-law) is that getting out with twins is twice as hard. Not only do you have 2 babies to prepare, but again, they are not on the same schedule! One might be getting up from a nap and the other getting ready to go down for one. My mother-in-law never seemed to get this. When the boys were younger and we would visit she complained that we were only there for an hour. Well it took us forever to get there because one of the boys was napping and by the time we did get there, the other one was ready for a nap. She has 2 sons and they are 4 years apart. Well, dang she had one in preschool when the other was born...how much easier can that be? Sorry...that is a whole different post or book. Honestly though, I don't know how I got through the first couple of months.
Well the boys are finally on the same schedule. They get up around the same time everyday (give or take a half-hour) and nap at the same time. It is a little piece of heaven. I also have a slight advantage now because they play together and keep each other entertained. However, notice I said 'slight advantage'. They certainly don't play nice very often. There is a lot of screaming, biting, pushing, and smacking going on. And 9 out of 10 times if it is quiet and it sounds like they are playing nice, they are into something they shouldn't be. And ironically, they are into it together. You would think one of them would be the daredevil, 'bad boy'. No, both of my kids get into trouble together. If one figures out a way to stand on the dining room table (yes that has happened, and now no one can eat in my dining room because all of the chair are tied together), they both stand on the table. I know, I have a long road ahead!
So if the divorce rate is triple with multiples, my husband and I aren't doing too bad! We are almost 2 years out. Honestly the kids are a huge stress on our marriage. But so is our house, our dog, our families and a ton of other things. I think people just want something to blame when they are facing divorce. All I know is that God forbid divorce ever knocks on my door, I will never blame my kids. They are my entire life and always will be. Everything I do is for them. Marriage is a separate entity. It needs to be worked on constantly. If you are both willing to work for it (with or without kids) and compromise, it will survive. If everything else in your life outranks your marriage, it will not.
Anyhow, this started to make me think. If I had a singleton right now, would my marriage be any better? I'm not saying my marriage is anywhere near divorce, but I'm not going to lie and say it is even close to perfect. Having twins is stressful, but having kids in general is stressful. I think having twins is definitely more stressful than having a singleton, but there are also a couple of advantages. One of the most difficult parts for me with twins was the schedules! Keeping twins on the same schedule is like trying to do one of those rubix cubes. How do you try to keep the same schedule for two different babies? Some babies require more sleep, some require eating more often, some start sleeping through the night sooner. I could go on & on but I think you get my point. What a lot of parent of singletons don't realize (mostly my mother-in-law) is that getting out with twins is twice as hard. Not only do you have 2 babies to prepare, but again, they are not on the same schedule! One might be getting up from a nap and the other getting ready to go down for one. My mother-in-law never seemed to get this. When the boys were younger and we would visit she complained that we were only there for an hour. Well it took us forever to get there because one of the boys was napping and by the time we did get there, the other one was ready for a nap. She has 2 sons and they are 4 years apart. Well, dang she had one in preschool when the other was born...how much easier can that be? Sorry...that is a whole different post or book. Honestly though, I don't know how I got through the first couple of months.
Well the boys are finally on the same schedule. They get up around the same time everyday (give or take a half-hour) and nap at the same time. It is a little piece of heaven. I also have a slight advantage now because they play together and keep each other entertained. However, notice I said 'slight advantage'. They certainly don't play nice very often. There is a lot of screaming, biting, pushing, and smacking going on. And 9 out of 10 times if it is quiet and it sounds like they are playing nice, they are into something they shouldn't be. And ironically, they are into it together. You would think one of them would be the daredevil, 'bad boy'. No, both of my kids get into trouble together. If one figures out a way to stand on the dining room table (yes that has happened, and now no one can eat in my dining room because all of the chair are tied together), they both stand on the table. I know, I have a long road ahead!
So if the divorce rate is triple with multiples, my husband and I aren't doing too bad! We are almost 2 years out. Honestly the kids are a huge stress on our marriage. But so is our house, our dog, our families and a ton of other things. I think people just want something to blame when they are facing divorce. All I know is that God forbid divorce ever knocks on my door, I will never blame my kids. They are my entire life and always will be. Everything I do is for them. Marriage is a separate entity. It needs to be worked on constantly. If you are both willing to work for it (with or without kids) and compromise, it will survive. If everything else in your life outranks your marriage, it will not.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Nesting
So I know I should be totally depressed now that fall is on it's way, which invariably means winter is around the corner...but I am kinda excited. I know...I'm nesting (as my mom would say). I know by the end of January I will wonder what in the heck is so great about winter. I'm excited about the changing leaves, lazy Sundays watching football (go Cowboys!), my electric blanket, all the wonderful holidays coming up, and decorating. I'm excited that this year my boys will be thrilled to open Christmas presents, rather than just eating the paper. They will get a kick out of seeing themselves in their Halloween costumes, and enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.
With all this excitement also comes some stress. Last year was the boys 1st everything. So of course both sets of Grandparents wanted to be there for everything. They all live in our hometown about 2 hours away from our house. During the holidays we stay at my parents house with the boys. This is not only my decision, btw! Well Thanksgiving last year we went to both houses, and that seemed to work out fine. Christmas was a whole different story. Last year Christmas eve fell on a Wednesday. So we decided to celebrate that with D's parents because his mother doesn't work & his father runs his own business and all of my family had to work. Besides, D and his family always opened presents on Christmas Eve. Also, when I was young we used to open presents at my Grandparents house on Christmas Eve & I loved it. So I figured we would start that as a tradition. Christmas Eve at his parents house & Christmas at mine. Well, things didn't work out as planned. There was a lot of jealousy and drama going on so we never went over there Christmas Eve. So we spent Christmas morning at my parents house then took the boys to D's (I was inches away from not going). Well lets just say I was not in the 'holiday' mood because of all the drama and I was very upset most of Christmas day. That night I cried realizing this was the boys first Christmas, and that will never happen again, and it was not what I expected. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday & I look forward to it every year. Well, I wrote my mother-in-law quite an extensive letter about how I felt and this will NOT happen again and if it does there will be consequences. Needless to say, I am still nervous about this year. I have put down my foot this year & we are splitting up the holidays. I want to be able to relax all day (without having to drag kids around) and let the boys enjoy their presents. I will have drama-free holidays this year even if some people are not included! My family & our happiness is number one and I refuse to let anyone ruin it this year.
With all this excitement also comes some stress. Last year was the boys 1st everything. So of course both sets of Grandparents wanted to be there for everything. They all live in our hometown about 2 hours away from our house. During the holidays we stay at my parents house with the boys. This is not only my decision, btw! Well Thanksgiving last year we went to both houses, and that seemed to work out fine. Christmas was a whole different story. Last year Christmas eve fell on a Wednesday. So we decided to celebrate that with D's parents because his mother doesn't work & his father runs his own business and all of my family had to work. Besides, D and his family always opened presents on Christmas Eve. Also, when I was young we used to open presents at my Grandparents house on Christmas Eve & I loved it. So I figured we would start that as a tradition. Christmas Eve at his parents house & Christmas at mine. Well, things didn't work out as planned. There was a lot of jealousy and drama going on so we never went over there Christmas Eve. So we spent Christmas morning at my parents house then took the boys to D's (I was inches away from not going). Well lets just say I was not in the 'holiday' mood because of all the drama and I was very upset most of Christmas day. That night I cried realizing this was the boys first Christmas, and that will never happen again, and it was not what I expected. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday & I look forward to it every year. Well, I wrote my mother-in-law quite an extensive letter about how I felt and this will NOT happen again and if it does there will be consequences. Needless to say, I am still nervous about this year. I have put down my foot this year & we are splitting up the holidays. I want to be able to relax all day (without having to drag kids around) and let the boys enjoy their presents. I will have drama-free holidays this year even if some people are not included! My family & our happiness is number one and I refuse to let anyone ruin it this year.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Oh boy
When I was working (before I got pregnant), I was very unhappy with my job. I was working 45+ hours a week, had a 40 minute commute, and very little paid time off. I was actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I interviewed with a local college for an executive assistant to the CFO. I wanted the job sooooo bad. The pay was really good, the benefits were free, the commute was only 15 minutes, the hours were 35 a week, and the paid time off was unheard of. I would have gotten the week of July 4th & Christmas off on top of 10 holidays and 3 weeks vacation. Well, sad to say I didn't get the job. He really wanted to give it to me but I had no experience working in a college and he had no time to train me because he was so busy. It sucked. Well a couple of months later I got pregnant and realized that after paying for 2 infants in daycare I would only bring home about $50/week. So I quit my job and decided to stay home for a while.
Financially it is hard, but we are somehow making it. However, I miss being able to splurge on myself once in a while. We had planned that when the boys turned 2 I would start looking for a job. I knew it might take a while because I was going to be very picky on the position I took. I want to be happy in my career. Well the other day I got curious and looked at the colleges website. They have an opening that would be perfect for me. I'm going to apply...but I'm so nervous. What if I get offered the job? Am I ready to put the boys in daycare? Will I regret my decision? Ahhh Decisions! So I put in my resume and coverletter today. They might not even call me, who knows. It just makes me wonder, will I ever be ready to leave my boys?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Meltdown Free!
On Wednesday we took the boys to the Central Park Zoo. It is about a 2 1/2 hour drive to NYC for us so we left after breakfast in hopes that they would take their nap on the way. Mission accomplished minus the fact that they finally fell asleep when we arrived in the city and only slept for about 30-45 minutes. So I'm thinking...not good. A full day in the city with such a small amount of sleep = meltdown central! Oh, and just a side note - it was only $10/person for the zoo & the boys were free! I was really proud that I planned a fun outing for such a small amount of money. Stupid me....nothing in NYC is cheap. Parking was $42!
The zoo has a whole section just for kids so that is where we spent most of our time. The boys loved getting out of their stroller for a close up of the animals. They really wanted to pet the sheep but I wouldn't allow it. Overprotective? No. My boys don't 'pet'. They grab, pull and yank. If our cat is stupid enough to let them get close enough he ends up loosing a couple of chunks of hair. But yet, he never learns.
On the way home, the boys took another short nap and it was nice to have some piece and quiet. All-in-all the day was great. I finally feel like we are starting to get back to an active lifestyle. Most people we know have no idea how restricting having twins can be. At certain points B was taking 3 naps a day but K was only taking 2...not to mention the 6 times a day they were eating or taking bottles. So their schedules were completely off and I was doing feedings all day which made it impossible to do anything. I'm looking forward to the future and all the fun activities we will do!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Running on E
Last Tuesday I started coming down with a cold. You know, feels like you got hit by a bus type of cold. Whatever, no biggie I'm a big girl and can handle the world! Then a wicked cough started setting in - again no biggie, I can handle the world with no sleep from being up all night coughing! Well by Saturday I was running on E. My throat was extremely tight and then the nausea started. You would think 5 days later the cold would be getting better not worse. So I threw the towel in and went to an urgicare. By this point I was doing all I could to not puke in the waiting room. Saw a doctor told him all my symptoms. They did a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia and stuck the long q-tip down my throat until I really almost puked on the nurse. I was given an antibiotic for possible strep (couldn't get the results that day) and was told I was probably nauseous from a post-nasal drip. Ummm...I'm no doctor but I don't think its from a post-nasal drip. So I'm sent home with some Robitussin with Codeine and an antibiotic. We didn't even pull out of the parking lot before I puked. I got home, puked some more and layed in bed all day feeling like I was dying. I am not kidding when I say giving birth to twins, naturally no less, was easier than the feeling I had on this day. Finally at around 8:00 pm (after puking all day and not being able to eat or drink) I went to the ER. They gave me 2 iv bags of saline for severe dehydration and some anti-nausea medication. This worked similar to an epidural...I felt like a new person after it.
Well, of course since I was out of commission the entire day, D had to watch the boys. Now I remind you they are over 18 months now. He has never in their entire lives watched them a full day. The day proved how men are clueless with schedules, routines, and chores. I didn't pay much attention to what he was doing all day (again, I thought I was dying) but I do remember he was giving them a snack at quarter to five (should have been at 3:00 pm) and even tried laying them down for a nap afterwords because he 'needed a rest'. Haha! Sorry dude, but they are down to one nap a day...too bad for you! He loaded the dishwasher with dirty dishes and assumes he has completed all the chores for the day (meanwhile the laundry basked is overflowing on the floor).
When he gets home from work everyday at 5:00 pm and I tell him to watch the boys because I need a break his reaction is 'from what, it's not that hard'. So after he reflects from an entire day with the boys, he decides I need more help. So he says from now on he will feed the boys dinner so I can eat one meal in peace. Ummm....almost 2 weeks later, still hasn't happened. Surprised - NO!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Spilled Coffee
Literally. Do you ever get that bad feeling when your husband is leaving for work and tells your kids 'you be good for mommy today'? Translation: 'try not to be so horrible today'. During breakfast this morning I put the boys in their boosters at the table and went to grab their pancakes...seconds later B has grabbed my coffee cup (full nonetheless) and it spilled everywhere. Thank God it wasn't hot...actually I don't remember the last time I actually had a hot cup of coffee. We have a round nook table & it seems like if I have anything on the table they can reach it. The other day I had B at the table eating lunch & I ran upstairs to grab K from his nap and when I returned he had grabbed his sandwich & food was everywhere. Moral of the story...keep your beverages out of the reach of your kids.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)