Bully

Ugh, when one stage is over, another is sure to start! I think we are getting over the biting stage. Now we are starting the - I'll just walk behind you and push you when you least expect it or slap you when I'm mad stage. Fun times!

K is a very independent child. He could sit by himself for half an hour and play with stacking cups. B on the other hand is a lost puppy without his brother. You would think it would be cute, well it's not. B has decided he is taking the bully role. K will just be walking to go get a toy and minding his own business & B will walk up behind him and just push him. Or if B gets punished he takes it out on K. Honestly I'm at my wits end. Nothing I say or do will make him stop. I have tried time outs, ignoring him, explaining be nice, etc. The boy is stubborn...I wonder where he gets that from? He is truly becoming a devil child. Is it normal to love your child but not like them? This wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't happening all day. I think it is starting to turn K into a 'crybaby'. He used to be able to handle his own and would push back. Now, he just falls and cries. I'm not sure if it's because it is all the time or if he wants my attention after the attack.

Needless to say, I am on a mission today. I am going to see if google can help. I refuse raise a bully. Isn't he too young for this!?!

Oh boy

When I was working (before I got pregnant), I was very unhappy with my job. I was working 45+ hours a week, had a 40 minute commute, and very little paid time off. I was actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I interviewed with a local college for an executive assistant to the CFO. I wanted the job sooooo bad. The pay was really good, the benefits were free, the commute was only 15 minutes, the hours were 35 a week, and the paid time off was unheard of. I would have gotten the week of July 4th & Christmas off on top of 10 holidays and 3 weeks vacation. Well, sad to say I didn't get the job. He really wanted to give it to me but I had no experience working in a college and he had no time to train me because he was so busy. It sucked. Well a couple of months later I got pregnant and realized that after paying for 2 infants in daycare I would only bring home about $50/week. So I quit my job and decided to stay home for a while.

Financially it is hard, but we are somehow making it. However, I miss being able to splurge on myself once in a while. We had planned that when the boys turned 2 I would start looking for a job. I knew it might take a while because I was going to be very picky on the position I took. I want to be happy in my career. Well the other day I got curious and looked at the colleges website. They have an opening that would be perfect for me. I'm going to apply...but I'm so nervous. What if I get offered the job? Am I ready to put the boys in daycare? Will I regret my decision? Ahhh Decisions! So I put in my resume and coverletter today. They might not even call me, who knows. It just makes me wonder, will I ever be ready to leave my boys?

Meltdown Free!

On Wednesday we took the boys to the Central Park Zoo. It is about a 2 1/2 hour drive to NYC for us so we left after breakfast in hopes that they would take their nap on the way. Mission accomplished minus the fact that they finally fell asleep when we arrived in the city and only slept for about 30-45 minutes. So I'm thinking...not good. A full day in the city with such a small amount of sleep = meltdown central! Oh, and just a side note - it was only $10/person for the zoo & the boys were free! I was really proud that I planned a fun outing for such a small amount of money. Stupid me....nothing in NYC is cheap. Parking was $42!

The zoo has a whole section just for kids so that is where we spent most of our time. The boys loved getting out of their stroller for a close up of the animals. They really wanted to pet the sheep but I wouldn't allow it. Overprotective? No. My boys don't 'pet'. They grab, pull and yank. If our cat is stupid enough to let them get close enough he ends up loosing a couple of chunks of hair. But yet, he never learns.

On the way home, the boys took another short nap and it was nice to have some piece and quiet. All-in-all the day was great. I finally feel like we are starting to get back to an active lifestyle. Most people we know have no idea how restricting having twins can be. At certain points B was taking 3 naps a day but K was only taking 2...not to mention the 6 times a day they were eating or taking bottles. So their schedules were completely off and I was doing feedings all day which made it impossible to do anything. I'm looking forward to the future and all the fun activities we will do!

Overachiever cleaner?

After starting this blog, I realized I really wanted to share any valuable information I had for parents. The problem with that was...did I have any? Cooking in my house is hard to come by, scattered toys are weapons, and I feel like cleaning is a foreign term. My boys are now 18 months & surely I will start being able to 'run a tight ship'. So I went on a mission. First, I wanted to start with dinner. Dinner at our house is 6pm. Usually at about 5:30 I am running around the house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure out what I can fix. Needless to say it is complete chaos. So I found a site called simplifysupper.com. I must say it is great. You can plan out an entire month of menus...or you can take baby steps like me and just plan for the week. After you set up your menu you can print out your grocery list along with the recipes. How much easier can that get? I started that last week and so far so good. My only gripe is that the menu options are not that large and only include dinner recipes (it turns out my kids also eat breakfast & lunch). I must say this lifts a huge boulder off my shoulders and I enjoy eating a variety of food opposed to pasta every night.

This is going so good that I decide if I actually have time to cook maybe I can clean! So I found a website that actually tells you exactly what to clean everyday to keep a tidy house. Wow...a manual on cleaning. So I printed that out last week. The website is called www.flylady.net. She gives a list of little chores to do every day and a couple of larger ones. The way I look at it is if I cleaned things more often, it wouldn't take me so long to clean. Makes sense right? Wrong. I realized after the first step that this is not the program for me! The first step is getting up in the morning and showering, getting dressed and putting on make-up. I almost peed myself when I read that! I have 2 toddlers at home under the age of two. I consider it a good day if I can brush my teeth by noon.

In all seriousness if you are a neat freak this is the website for you. If I had more time I would definitely follow her routine. Before kids my house was spotless. Now at the end of the day if the sink is empty and the laundry is put away it's good enough.

What is wrong with men!

I am not your typical 'man hatter' but sometimes I really wonder where their heads are at! Maybe it's just my husband but, hello they are your kids too! We just got home from an exhausting weekend with the boys and I am almost passed out on the floor with 2 toddlers jumping all over me and I get a whiff. Someone has pooped. I'm pretty good at knowing who it was just by the smell. I change diapers all day every day. So, I figure it's not too much to ask that my husband change one at least every other day. He tries to find anyway out of it. He actually takes longer scheming on how to get out of a diaper change than the time it would have taken to just change it.

So here is his new line "You should change it, you do it so much better". Seriously???

Traveling Update

Ok, so we got home early yesterday afternoon from a weekend visit for my MIL surprise 50th birthday party. As expected, the trip was beyond stressful. If K & B would just take a normal nap and go to sleep on time it would be easy peasy! However, they prefer to scream at the top of their lungs and take at least an hour or more to finally fall asleep. Ugh! Last night when we put them down in their own beds...nada, not a peep.

To add to the stress my husband thought this was his weekend off...now that's a knee slapper!

Poop there it is!

A nurse in the NICU once told me that changing diapers would eventually get harder. Stupid me I didn't believe her. How can it get harder than trying to put on a diaper that is too large on a screaming wiggling baby that pees on me all time? It does. Now the baby can scream louder, wiggle better and pee in larger quantities. But that isn't even the hard part. Now I have to hold down a screaming wiggling peeing toddler that is trying to put his hands in his (excuse me...) poopy penis while his brother is picking up the soiled diaper and running around the room.

p.s. Do not let your toddler walk around in just a diaper. They do know how to get out of it, you just won't know it until you find them peeing in the corner.

Traveling - Ugh!

So this weekend we are traveling with the boys to our hometown about 2 hours away...and I am dreading it worse than if I had to go to the dentist for 10 cavities. We are throwing a surprise 50th birthday party for my mother-in-law. We will be there Friday - Sunday. We always stay at my parents house (they live in the same town) and have all the necessities (pack-n-plays, etc) there. Well my parents are away for the weekend so we will be staying in their house alone - with no help. It is only Tuesday and already I am having trouble sleeping & completely stressing over this trip. Am I the only parent with twins that dreads traveling???
The worst part for me is putting the boys down for a nap or bed. We have two pack-n-plays set up in one room (at home they are in separate rooms) and we also sleep in that room. I don't know if it is because it is an unfamiliar room or what, but when we leave the room they scream. To make matters worse, they keep each other up crying. It breaks my heart to listen to it. At home, we put them in their cribs and they go to sleep, no crying.

We had the same issue when we went on vacation in April. We all had to share a room and they would scream when we left. They were both miserable the whole vacation because they were so overtired.

I am not looking forward to this, to say the least. I love going home to see all of our family (his grandma, my grandparents, my sister & nieces, our parents), but we hardly ever go because it is so stressful on me. I cannot wait until they are old enough to be excited about going to sleep over at Grandma & Grandpa's.

It's also hard for me because I feel like I am completely overwhelmed away from home with them. Nowhere we go is baby proofed like at home so I have to chase them around everywhere. Feeding them is a whole-nether story.

Well this will be the first time we put them in separate rooms at my parents. We will see how that goes. Someone please tell me traveling with twins gets easier???? Any advice on the sleeping situation??

Scrapbook

A lot of people ask me about the boys baby books. Well, honestly I feel really bad that I never made them but I guess I was too busy with diapers, feedings, laundry, cleaning and things that had to be done. So now that they are getting older and I have a little more spare time I wanted to do something. I realized I cannot do a baby book because I never wrote down dates for their first tooth, step, etc. So I found this really nice online scapbook that you can make and then have it printing. My idea was to take pictures from their first year. So their first halloween, Christmas, Birthday, etc. I just received it in the mail a couple of days ago and I love it. It is beautiful and I must say I like the idea more than just writing dates of 'firsts'. You can access it through photobucket.com.

Timeout

The boys are getting to the age where they definitely need some discipline! Naughty behaviors include biting, smacking, pushing, screaming and whatever else they can do to cause some drama. I don't believe in 'spanking'. At this age they mimic behaviors and how confusing is it to a 18 month old for me to spank them for smacking their brother? Any person with common sense should see that. I also feel like people who spank their kids are doing it for their own gratification. They are frustrated that their toddler is not listening to them and they take out their own frustrations on the kid.

Enough with the rambling. So we did start timeouts. So far, I think they understand why they go there. Of course, they don't understand when I say 'don't do that our your going to timeout'...they just give me a smile and see how far they can go. After doing this for a couple of weeks, they will walk themselves over to time out when told. We're still working on the staying there part. I have realized three problems with trying to do timeout with twins. One is at this age it is impossible to put them both in timeout at the same time. They won't stay there so all you are doing is chasing them around. Two, while one is in timeout the other wants to entertain. Third, a lot of times I tell one to go to timeout and the other one will go. It is confusing at this age to associate their name with a specific action.

I have noticed a decrease in biting episodes since we started timeout. The smacking and pushing we are still working on!

Terrible Two's Early?

Ok my boys just turned 18 months a couple of days ago. My goodness they are demanding. If one has a toy the other one wants...get ready for a tug of war screaming match! It's kinda funny because you can tell how devious they are getting. For instance, if Blake is playing with a toy that Kameron suddenly decides he wants, Kameron will throw another toy at Blake as if to say 'here take this' so he can swipe the toy. It is hilarious.

The eating situation is also getting frustrating. Now if they don't want a certain food, they just open their mouths and let it fall all over their laps. Oh joy...people told me this would get easier HA! They also think it is funny to play simon says with each other at the table. If one throws food, the other starts doing it also. If I tell one to stop banging their sippy cup on the table, the other one starts doing it.

I am beginning to think that whoever came up with the quote 'it will get easier' either never had children, or is a liar!

What to buy 2 of??

This is another question I get asked a lot. What do I definitely need 2 of?

I would say you definitely need 2 of the following:
*Cribs
*Pack-n-plays (if you travel a lot eventually they will not fit in one together)
*Infant seats/bouncers
*Boppy's
*Monitors (if you move them to separate rooms)
*Exersaucers (lifesavers!)
*Highchairs/booster chairs
*Car seats (duh!)

Dealing with babies in the NICU

The absolute hardest part of giving birth was not being able to hold my babies right after. Because they were premature the NICU team was in the OR for delivery and rushed them out as soon as they were born. I feel like I never got that first *moment* with them.

Blake who was actually born second and weighed less, went home first at 9 days. Kameron shortly followed at 12 days. It was extremely difficult leaving them at the hospital when I got released. It was weird but I felt like a horrible mother and I must have not done something right because my babies were not healthy enough to go home with me. In addition, I couldn't drive yet and my husband worked all day so it was hard to get quality time with them. Breastfeeding was impossible because I wasn't there for every 3 hour feed. So I pumped and brought in my milk every day.

While they were in the NICU I didn't really even feel like a mother yet. I honestly felt like a student. The NICU nurses had to teach us everything from keeping their body temperatures stable to hooking up their feeding tubes. I never got alone time for just me and them. Also, during their stay no one will tell you when they are expected to go home (I guess they say they don't want to get your hopes up). I tried to take it day by day, but it was really hard to picture your first days home with your babies for nine months of pregnancy and then bam you have no idea when you will actually bring them home. I felt a lot of guilt for not being with them enough at the NICU. I longed for them to know who I was more than the nurses.

It was hard because I had imagined how I would bring them home from the hospital and they would sleep in the same crib together snuggled like they were in my stomach for so many months. I imagined how we would all be lazy in bed together in the morning. Honestly I still get jealous watching Baby Stories on TLC because most of those moms get to hold their baby first and get to bring them home healthy and happy.

Now that I look back on all of that, I realize how truly lucky I am. My babies were 6 weeks early, had very low birth weights and both were home within a week and a half. To this day they are happy healthy little boys.

My Story

I found out I was pregnant with twins on June 28, 2007. Yes, it is shocking (I get asked that a LOT)! During my 16 week level 2 ultrasound I found out it was boys. My husband & I were ecstatic. He was happy he never had to play with Barbie dolls (hopefully), I was happy that some day I could kick all the men out of the house and have a 'me' day.

The pregnancy was not smooth by any means. I went into pre-term labor at 28 weeks and had to go on complete bed rest. Not as fun as it sounds! I made it to 34 weeks (a huge milestone for me) and the doctors said I could start moving around a little more. So my mom finally set a date for my baby shower.

The baby shower was about 2 hours away from my house (how is it the pregnant lady has to travel for everyone else??). On the drive home from the shower, I started feeling a lot of pressure. I thought it was just from being more active after laying in bed for 6 weeks. So I got home and started organizing some of the gifts and it started getting worse. I went and laid down in bed and I suddenly felt a gush. So I ran to the toilet thinking...maybe I peed a little. Then I had a bigger gush. I yelled for my husband and told him and he replied with 'maybe you just peed and didn't realize you had to'. I immediately called my mom since my husband was clueless and she has done this twice, and she confirmed it was my water breaking.

I showered really quickly, grabbed my bag and off we went. I started getting pretty strong contractions on the way. When the checked me I was 3 cm dilated. Soon after that I got an epidural...whoever invented that is a complete genious in my book (had to be a woman lol). About 13 hours later I delivered Kameron who was 4 lbs 8 oz. About 50 minutes later I delivered Blake who was 3 lbs 15 oz. Thank God I had a relatively easy labor and they were both delivered natural.

Questions from Newbies with Newborns

Biggest questions I get from new moms with twins or expecting twins are-

How do you feed them at the same time?
Answer: you just do it! I did not breastfeed because apparently I am not that coordinated. I took a shortcut and pumped. When I heard the first baby start to stir, I would get up and start warming the bottles. I had these little propped feeding beds I set them in, and I put them on my bed on each side of my legs (I don't think this is possible with anything other than a King bed if you have your lazy husband sleeping next to you), and fed them. Just a little hint...I wouldn't change the diapers until after you've fed them because that is when they usually decide to load a diaper.

How do you go shopping alone?
Answer: you don't! I know lots of moms with multiples that would put their babies in a stroller and pull a cart behind them. It just is not worth the trouble. Between trying to get around people in the store and praying that your babies don't flip out for some reason (because you have no hands left!) it is not worth the stress and aggravation. Wait until someone can go with you or someone can watch the babies. Or you can do what I did, make a list and make your husband go.

How do you sleep?
Answer: again, you don't! Everyone you know will tell you 'sleep when the babies sleep'...but most chances are these are not people that were taking care of two babies at one time! No offense but they are clueless! When your babies are sleeping during the day, you are cleaning bottles, doing laundry, trying to take a much needed shower, etc. You just have to get by until they are sleeping a little longer. If you are lucky enough, your husband can take a night shift (I sadly was not lucky enough lol).