Dealing with babies in the NICU

The absolute hardest part of giving birth was not being able to hold my babies right after. Because they were premature the NICU team was in the OR for delivery and rushed them out as soon as they were born. I feel like I never got that first *moment* with them.

Blake who was actually born second and weighed less, went home first at 9 days. Kameron shortly followed at 12 days. It was extremely difficult leaving them at the hospital when I got released. It was weird but I felt like a horrible mother and I must have not done something right because my babies were not healthy enough to go home with me. In addition, I couldn't drive yet and my husband worked all day so it was hard to get quality time with them. Breastfeeding was impossible because I wasn't there for every 3 hour feed. So I pumped and brought in my milk every day.

While they were in the NICU I didn't really even feel like a mother yet. I honestly felt like a student. The NICU nurses had to teach us everything from keeping their body temperatures stable to hooking up their feeding tubes. I never got alone time for just me and them. Also, during their stay no one will tell you when they are expected to go home (I guess they say they don't want to get your hopes up). I tried to take it day by day, but it was really hard to picture your first days home with your babies for nine months of pregnancy and then bam you have no idea when you will actually bring them home. I felt a lot of guilt for not being with them enough at the NICU. I longed for them to know who I was more than the nurses.

It was hard because I had imagined how I would bring them home from the hospital and they would sleep in the same crib together snuggled like they were in my stomach for so many months. I imagined how we would all be lazy in bed together in the morning. Honestly I still get jealous watching Baby Stories on TLC because most of those moms get to hold their baby first and get to bring them home healthy and happy.

Now that I look back on all of that, I realize how truly lucky I am. My babies were 6 weeks early, had very low birth weights and both were home within a week and a half. To this day they are happy healthy little boys.

My Story

I found out I was pregnant with twins on June 28, 2007. Yes, it is shocking (I get asked that a LOT)! During my 16 week level 2 ultrasound I found out it was boys. My husband & I were ecstatic. He was happy he never had to play with Barbie dolls (hopefully), I was happy that some day I could kick all the men out of the house and have a 'me' day.

The pregnancy was not smooth by any means. I went into pre-term labor at 28 weeks and had to go on complete bed rest. Not as fun as it sounds! I made it to 34 weeks (a huge milestone for me) and the doctors said I could start moving around a little more. So my mom finally set a date for my baby shower.

The baby shower was about 2 hours away from my house (how is it the pregnant lady has to travel for everyone else??). On the drive home from the shower, I started feeling a lot of pressure. I thought it was just from being more active after laying in bed for 6 weeks. So I got home and started organizing some of the gifts and it started getting worse. I went and laid down in bed and I suddenly felt a gush. So I ran to the toilet thinking...maybe I peed a little. Then I had a bigger gush. I yelled for my husband and told him and he replied with 'maybe you just peed and didn't realize you had to'. I immediately called my mom since my husband was clueless and she has done this twice, and she confirmed it was my water breaking.

I showered really quickly, grabbed my bag and off we went. I started getting pretty strong contractions on the way. When the checked me I was 3 cm dilated. Soon after that I got an epidural...whoever invented that is a complete genious in my book (had to be a woman lol). About 13 hours later I delivered Kameron who was 4 lbs 8 oz. About 50 minutes later I delivered Blake who was 3 lbs 15 oz. Thank God I had a relatively easy labor and they were both delivered natural.

Questions from Newbies with Newborns

Biggest questions I get from new moms with twins or expecting twins are-

How do you feed them at the same time?
Answer: you just do it! I did not breastfeed because apparently I am not that coordinated. I took a shortcut and pumped. When I heard the first baby start to stir, I would get up and start warming the bottles. I had these little propped feeding beds I set them in, and I put them on my bed on each side of my legs (I don't think this is possible with anything other than a King bed if you have your lazy husband sleeping next to you), and fed them. Just a little hint...I wouldn't change the diapers until after you've fed them because that is when they usually decide to load a diaper.

How do you go shopping alone?
Answer: you don't! I know lots of moms with multiples that would put their babies in a stroller and pull a cart behind them. It just is not worth the trouble. Between trying to get around people in the store and praying that your babies don't flip out for some reason (because you have no hands left!) it is not worth the stress and aggravation. Wait until someone can go with you or someone can watch the babies. Or you can do what I did, make a list and make your husband go.

How do you sleep?
Answer: again, you don't! Everyone you know will tell you 'sleep when the babies sleep'...but most chances are these are not people that were taking care of two babies at one time! No offense but they are clueless! When your babies are sleeping during the day, you are cleaning bottles, doing laundry, trying to take a much needed shower, etc. You just have to get by until they are sleeping a little longer. If you are lucky enough, your husband can take a night shift (I sadly was not lucky enough lol).