Parents of Twins & Divorce

So I know everyone is sick of hearing about Jon & Kate. Believe me, so am I. But when she was discussing separating with Jon, something she said got my attention. She said that the divorce rate for parents of multiples is triple the national average. Well, as I recall the national average is somewhere between 40-50%. Is it just me or does that not make sense?

Anyhow, this started to make me think. If I had a singleton right now, would my marriage be any better? I'm not saying my marriage is anywhere near divorce, but I'm not going to lie and say it is even close to perfect. Having twins is stressful, but having kids in general is stressful. I think having twins is definitely more stressful than having a singleton, but there are also a couple of advantages. One of the most difficult parts for me with twins was the schedules! Keeping twins on the same schedule is like trying to do one of those rubix cubes. How do you try to keep the same schedule for two different babies? Some babies require more sleep, some require eating more often, some start sleeping through the night sooner. I could go on & on but I think you get my point. What a lot of parent of singletons don't realize (mostly my mother-in-law) is that getting out with twins is twice as hard. Not only do you have 2 babies to prepare, but again, they are not on the same schedule! One might be getting up from a nap and the other getting ready to go down for one. My mother-in-law never seemed to get this. When the boys were younger and we would visit she complained that we were only there for an hour. Well it took us forever to get there because one of the boys was napping and by the time we did get there, the other one was ready for a nap. She has 2 sons and they are 4 years apart. Well, dang she had one in preschool when the other was born...how much easier can that be? Sorry...that is a whole different post or book. Honestly though, I don't know how I got through the first couple of months.

Well the boys are finally on the same schedule. They get up around the same time everyday (give or take a half-hour) and nap at the same time. It is a little piece of heaven. I also have a slight advantage now because they play together and keep each other entertained. However, notice I said 'slight advantage'. They certainly don't play nice very often. There is a lot of screaming, biting, pushing, and smacking going on. And 9 out of 10 times if it is quiet and it sounds like they are playing nice, they are into something they shouldn't be. And ironically, they are into it together. You would think one of them would be the daredevil, 'bad boy'. No, both of my kids get into trouble together. If one figures out a way to stand on the dining room table (yes that has happened, and now no one can eat in my dining room because all of the chair are tied together), they both stand on the table. I know, I have a long road ahead!

So if the divorce rate is triple with multiples, my husband and I aren't doing too bad! We are almost 2 years out. Honestly the kids are a huge stress on our marriage. But so is our house, our dog, our families and a ton of other things. I think people just want something to blame when they are facing divorce. All I know is that God forbid divorce ever knocks on my door, I will never blame my kids. They are my entire life and always will be. Everything I do is for them. Marriage is a separate entity. It needs to be worked on constantly. If you are both willing to work for it (with or without kids) and compromise, it will survive. If everything else in your life outranks your marriage, it will not.