Bully

Ugh, when one stage is over, another is sure to start! I think we are getting over the biting stage. Now we are starting the - I'll just walk behind you and push you when you least expect it or slap you when I'm mad stage. Fun times!

K is a very independent child. He could sit by himself for half an hour and play with stacking cups. B on the other hand is a lost puppy without his brother. You would think it would be cute, well it's not. B has decided he is taking the bully role. K will just be walking to go get a toy and minding his own business & B will walk up behind him and just push him. Or if B gets punished he takes it out on K. Honestly I'm at my wits end. Nothing I say or do will make him stop. I have tried time outs, ignoring him, explaining be nice, etc. The boy is stubborn...I wonder where he gets that from? He is truly becoming a devil child. Is it normal to love your child but not like them? This wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't happening all day. I think it is starting to turn K into a 'crybaby'. He used to be able to handle his own and would push back. Now, he just falls and cries. I'm not sure if it's because it is all the time or if he wants my attention after the attack.

Needless to say, I am on a mission today. I am going to see if google can help. I refuse raise a bully. Isn't he too young for this!?!

Parents of Twins & Divorce

So I know everyone is sick of hearing about Jon & Kate. Believe me, so am I. But when she was discussing separating with Jon, something she said got my attention. She said that the divorce rate for parents of multiples is triple the national average. Well, as I recall the national average is somewhere between 40-50%. Is it just me or does that not make sense?

Anyhow, this started to make me think. If I had a singleton right now, would my marriage be any better? I'm not saying my marriage is anywhere near divorce, but I'm not going to lie and say it is even close to perfect. Having twins is stressful, but having kids in general is stressful. I think having twins is definitely more stressful than having a singleton, but there are also a couple of advantages. One of the most difficult parts for me with twins was the schedules! Keeping twins on the same schedule is like trying to do one of those rubix cubes. How do you try to keep the same schedule for two different babies? Some babies require more sleep, some require eating more often, some start sleeping through the night sooner. I could go on & on but I think you get my point. What a lot of parent of singletons don't realize (mostly my mother-in-law) is that getting out with twins is twice as hard. Not only do you have 2 babies to prepare, but again, they are not on the same schedule! One might be getting up from a nap and the other getting ready to go down for one. My mother-in-law never seemed to get this. When the boys were younger and we would visit she complained that we were only there for an hour. Well it took us forever to get there because one of the boys was napping and by the time we did get there, the other one was ready for a nap. She has 2 sons and they are 4 years apart. Well, dang she had one in preschool when the other was born...how much easier can that be? Sorry...that is a whole different post or book. Honestly though, I don't know how I got through the first couple of months.

Well the boys are finally on the same schedule. They get up around the same time everyday (give or take a half-hour) and nap at the same time. It is a little piece of heaven. I also have a slight advantage now because they play together and keep each other entertained. However, notice I said 'slight advantage'. They certainly don't play nice very often. There is a lot of screaming, biting, pushing, and smacking going on. And 9 out of 10 times if it is quiet and it sounds like they are playing nice, they are into something they shouldn't be. And ironically, they are into it together. You would think one of them would be the daredevil, 'bad boy'. No, both of my kids get into trouble together. If one figures out a way to stand on the dining room table (yes that has happened, and now no one can eat in my dining room because all of the chair are tied together), they both stand on the table. I know, I have a long road ahead!

So if the divorce rate is triple with multiples, my husband and I aren't doing too bad! We are almost 2 years out. Honestly the kids are a huge stress on our marriage. But so is our house, our dog, our families and a ton of other things. I think people just want something to blame when they are facing divorce. All I know is that God forbid divorce ever knocks on my door, I will never blame my kids. They are my entire life and always will be. Everything I do is for them. Marriage is a separate entity. It needs to be worked on constantly. If you are both willing to work for it (with or without kids) and compromise, it will survive. If everything else in your life outranks your marriage, it will not.

Nesting

So I know I should be totally depressed now that fall is on it's way, which invariably means winter is around the corner...but I am kinda excited. I know...I'm nesting (as my mom would say). I know by the end of January I will wonder what in the heck is so great about winter. I'm excited about the changing leaves, lazy Sundays watching football (go Cowboys!), my electric blanket, all the wonderful holidays coming up, and decorating. I'm excited that this year my boys will be thrilled to open Christmas presents, rather than just eating the paper. They will get a kick out of seeing themselves in their Halloween costumes, and enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.

With all this excitement also comes some stress. Last year was the boys 1st everything. So of course both sets of Grandparents wanted to be there for everything. They all live in our hometown about 2 hours away from our house. During the holidays we stay at my parents house with the boys. This is not only my decision, btw! Well Thanksgiving last year we went to both houses, and that seemed to work out fine. Christmas was a whole different story. Last year Christmas eve fell on a Wednesday. So we decided to celebrate that with D's parents because his mother doesn't work & his father runs his own business and all of my family had to work. Besides, D and his family always opened presents on Christmas Eve. Also, when I was young we used to open presents at my Grandparents house on Christmas Eve & I loved it. So I figured we would start that as a tradition. Christmas Eve at his parents house & Christmas at mine. Well, things didn't work out as planned. There was a lot of jealousy and drama going on so we never went over there Christmas Eve. So we spent Christmas morning at my parents house then took the boys to D's (I was inches away from not going). Well lets just say I was not in the 'holiday' mood because of all the drama and I was very upset most of Christmas day. That night I cried realizing this was the boys first Christmas, and that will never happen again, and it was not what I expected. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday & I look forward to it every year. Well, I wrote my mother-in-law quite an extensive letter about how I felt and this will NOT happen again and if it does there will be consequences. Needless to say, I am still nervous about this year. I have put down my foot this year & we are splitting up the holidays. I want to be able to relax all day (without having to drag kids around) and let the boys enjoy their presents. I will have drama-free holidays this year even if some people are not included! My family & our happiness is number one and I refuse to let anyone ruin it this year.

Spilled Coffee

Literally. Do you ever get that bad feeling when your husband is leaving for work and tells your kids 'you be good for mommy today'? Translation: 'try not to be so horrible today'. During breakfast this morning I put the boys in their boosters at the table and went to grab their pancakes...seconds later B has grabbed my coffee cup (full nonetheless) and it spilled everywhere. Thank God it wasn't hot...actually I don't remember the last time I actually had a hot cup of coffee. We have a round nook table & it seems like if I have anything on the table they can reach it. The other day I had B at the table eating lunch & I ran upstairs to grab K from his nap and when I returned he had grabbed his sandwich & food was everywhere. Moral of the story...keep your beverages out of the reach of your kids.

Boys vs Girls

I often hear parents say that raising boys vs girls is different. I won't lie, I was a skeptic. Doesn't it really depend on the environment you raise them in? Final answer is, NO. Have you ever noticed that boys at a playground are usually throwing dirt, climbing up the slide instead of going down, and chasing each other with sword sticks? Then you look over at the girls and they are building sandcastles, holding their baby dolls down the slide and playing hopscotch. I now realize my life will be complete chaos raising boys.

I come from a very traditional family...the whole respect your elders yada yada yada. I have an older sister who is my best friend. She has two girls ages 6 and 4. I absolutely adore them. The other day we are on the phone and of course I can hardly hear her with the boys screaming and carrying on like normal. I hear nothing in the background on her end. So I ask her 'where are the girls'? She says they are in their room playing barbies. I tell her 'I can't wait until my boys are that age so I can be sitting on the deck with a nice glass of wine while they play quietly in their rooms'. She starts laughing hysterically and says 'that is never gonna happen'! I now realize I am screwed.

Day off

Waking up this morning I felt like I got hit by a truck. My entire body aches, I have a monster headache, I cannot stop coughing, and I feel like I have 2 collapsed lungs. I do not get sick very often, but when I do it's no joke. It all started yesterday and by last night it was pretty unbearable. So I told D if it is this bad you might have to take the day off. Well it was actually worse this morning than last night. D gets out of bed at 8:30 am (which means he is going in late so he is going to be staying late at work) and just starts getting ready for work. Hello...I'm dying over here?!?! Needless to say I know he doesn't want to waste a day off on watching the kids. I suppose I don't even get a day off when I feel like crap. I drag my butt out of bed and go get the kids and bring them to the living-room. Whatever, I can handle this I'll just take some cold medicine and not worry about any chores today. So I'm downstairs getting the kids their morning snack with milk and he is just standing there. Um...can I help you? Yes, I'm waiting for you to make my coffee. WTF!

Overachiever cleaner?

After starting this blog, I realized I really wanted to share any valuable information I had for parents. The problem with that was...did I have any? Cooking in my house is hard to come by, scattered toys are weapons, and I feel like cleaning is a foreign term. My boys are now 18 months & surely I will start being able to 'run a tight ship'. So I went on a mission. First, I wanted to start with dinner. Dinner at our house is 6pm. Usually at about 5:30 I am running around the house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure out what I can fix. Needless to say it is complete chaos. So I found a site called simplifysupper.com. I must say it is great. You can plan out an entire month of menus...or you can take baby steps like me and just plan for the week. After you set up your menu you can print out your grocery list along with the recipes. How much easier can that get? I started that last week and so far so good. My only gripe is that the menu options are not that large and only include dinner recipes (it turns out my kids also eat breakfast & lunch). I must say this lifts a huge boulder off my shoulders and I enjoy eating a variety of food opposed to pasta every night.

This is going so good that I decide if I actually have time to cook maybe I can clean! So I found a website that actually tells you exactly what to clean everyday to keep a tidy house. Wow...a manual on cleaning. So I printed that out last week. The website is called www.flylady.net. She gives a list of little chores to do every day and a couple of larger ones. The way I look at it is if I cleaned things more often, it wouldn't take me so long to clean. Makes sense right? Wrong. I realized after the first step that this is not the program for me! The first step is getting up in the morning and showering, getting dressed and putting on make-up. I almost peed myself when I read that! I have 2 toddlers at home under the age of two. I consider it a good day if I can brush my teeth by noon.

In all seriousness if you are a neat freak this is the website for you. If I had more time I would definitely follow her routine. Before kids my house was spotless. Now at the end of the day if the sink is empty and the laundry is put away it's good enough.